I love fisting. It's so erotic. There's something about having an entire fist inside that not only drives me crazy physically but mentally.
I started fisting since 2015. I have seen the point of view of both being a fister and a fistee. I know a lot of you who are interested in learning how to fist but don't know the technique of doing it so I've decided to put together this fisting tutorial. My advice to you is to read the entire article word to word, do not skim through and do not skip any section.
This tutorial is only for anal fisting. I have never fisted a vagina so I don't have any experience with it. I would love to try it though. I think I'd be excellent at it.
THE NUMBER ONE RULE:
The passion has to be mutual, meaning the top has to want to fist and the bottom has to want to get fisted. I have failed to get my fist in many times. I thought that's because I'm not experienced enough but looking back, 98% of my failed attempts were because the bottom didn't want to get fisted, despite my experience. I have learned an important lesson that the success rate is higher when both parties mutually want it.
THE NEXT STEPS:
Schedule a time so both of you can relax. That means you have nothing on the agenda: no dinner dates, no work, no appointment of any kind, nothing. Fisting can be intense and stressful because you're taking a fist after all. You have to free the mind from any kind of worries. Pick a weekend night where you both could dedicate the entire time for fisting and not having to worry about running late to go somewhere.
2) HOW TO PREPARE:
* Make sure your ass is smooth or the hair will pull. Don't even attempt to get fisted with a hairy hole. If you can't shave your own hole then have your partner do it for you. If he's not into shaving you then he isn't man enough to fist you. Tell him to get the fuck out. Fisting isn't for sissies.
* Douche very deep. If you're stressed that you'll shit on his hand then you won't be able to relax. Take Fiber pills every day for one week before your fisting date. You'll be so confident with your clean hole. Don't eat greasy food. Eat lots of veggies. It's best not to attempt fisting spontaneously without preparation.
* Trim your nails very short. I have had tops who didn't trim their nails and attempted to fist me. It felt like knives cutting my insides. It is most helpful if you trim your nails one day before your fisting date since freshly trimmed nails tend to be sharper. If not, just make sure to file your nails before play, you should be fine.
* If your hand is hairy then shave. It'll get in easier or wear gloves if you don't wanna shave.
* Clean under your nails with soap. You don't wanna put bacterias inside your partner. Wear gloves if you want which brings us to the next topic: Gloves.
You don't have to use gloves but it is recommended because the hands can have lots of bacterias which you don't want to put into the body of your partner. Vice versa, the rectum has lots of bacterias which you don't want on your hands. Go to the convenient store and get those thin gloves that doctors use. You don't want to use thick fisting gloves because you don't want to add thickness to your hand. This is your first attempt after all. I like black gloves cause it's sexier.
Keep in mind that gloves can add friction which can potentially add difficulties to getting your fist in. It's a piece of advice that I want to inform you. I have done fisting with just bare hands many times. If you're doing it with bare hands then make sure you shave. A smooth hand will go in better.
Most people use Xlube, J Lube, or K lube. These lubes come in the form of a powder that you have to mix with water. Why? Because you can control the outcome of the lube. You can make it watery or densed, however you want it to be. It's also cheaper than regular lube that you use for penetration. In fisting, you will need lots of lube. Also, X lube, J lube and K lube are more slippery. The best lube, in my opinion, is X Lube because it has the best consistency and it mixes really nice. It doesn't create chunks like J Lube. My verdict: go with X Lube.
To store your lube I would recommend one of those soap bottles with a sports tip. You don't want to invest in a fisting lube bottle because it can be hard to clean the inside. Bacterias build-up isn't ideal for anything going inside your body. The cheap soap bottles can be easily replaced after you've used it for dishes. This way you'll always have a fresh bottle to play. A water bottle with a sports tip is also fine, choose something sturdy or your lube will spill. Make sure you choose a decent size bottle that holds to about 24 FL OZ. Do not choose a tiny bottle. Remember: YOU WILL NEED A LOT OF LUBE!
HOW TO MIX:
I don't have a strict recipe to mix the lube but I know two ways for you to do it.
This way is fine if you don't want to use a blender or you're traveling and don't have a blender with you
Fill the bottle with warm water. Don't fill it to the top. Leave space for powder. Do not use cold water or it won't melt.
Add a little bit, shake it. Add more, shake it. Add a little more and shake it. You don't want to add a whole bunch at once because once the powder gets inside the water it'll create a little shield that protects the inner core and you'll end up with a bunch of little chunks of powder that won't melt.
Squeeze the lube onto your hands. Rub it. If it dries too quickly then you need to add more powder. You will know that the lube is ready when you rub it against your hands and after a minute it's still slippery. I can't be there to teach you so you have to use your instinct. Choose what you'll think is best for your body. You won't perfect it with your first attempt. Keep doing it.
Some people have a blender that is specifically for fisting. Don't use it to make your protein shakes. Only for fisting. The blender will mix the powder better. I only recommend this technique if you've done enough fisting and want to reserve the entire blender for fisting lube. Don't get a huge blender. Just get one that holds about the same amount of your bottle.
The following ingredients can be added to your lube but not a must. I learned it from my friend Maus (Twitter @Sherman_maus):
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: only use high-grade therapeutic essential oil. Some essential oils are made very cheaply and are not made to be used internally! Don't be cheap when it comes to anything that goes inside your body.
* Eucalyptus – 1 drop. For a pleasant scent.
* Lavender – 1 drop. For a pleasant scent.
* Peppermint – 1 drop. Cooling effect. Relaxes the muscle.
* Tea tree oil – 1 drop. It helps make the lube last longer.
* Clove – 4 drops. Relaxes the muscle.
Google: AURA CACIA DISCOVER ESSENTIAL OILS KIT. I believe it'll come with: Eucalyptus, Lavender, Peppermint and Tea Tree oil.
Aspercreme: do not add it into the lube. Just rub it around your hole. It numbs your muscle.
Ibuprofen – Take orally 400-600 mg so that you don't feel sore. This is good if you want to play longer. I'm talking about 4+ hours.
TOWELS AND/OR WEE WEE PADS:
It'll get messy. The amount of lube, the precum, and depends on the anatomy but some bottoms can piss uncontrollably when their bladder is being played with. Wee wee pads will absorb the fluid so piss won't soak into your bed. You can also get one of those rubber sheets for your mattress. A cheap way for you to do it is to get a big trash bag, cut it open so you can expand the size, place towels above, this way you will get a big area on your bed to play.
Bottoms, if you piss that's totally normal. Don't be embarrassed. I have seen it happens way too many times to count.
Tops, if your bottom pisses, deal with it and take it like a man. If you're easily grossed out just remember fisting is for real men.
Remember you're playing with an ass. If the bottom slightly shat on your hand then both of you go wash up and continue. Don't be pussies.
Don't jump immediately into fisting. Take time to foreplay. Not only it'll turn the bottom on but also relaxes the body. I don't know why lots of people skip foreplay.
Before attempting to fist, open him up with toys and your dick. Get dildos, plugs, etc. Playing with it not only relaxes his hole but also opening up his insides. You don't want his intestines to block your hand. Proceed to fuck him and loosen his hole. Do not rush. Keep teasing him, make him hunger for your fist to expand his hole.
The bottom gets to decide the position: on his back, on his stomach, on the sling, squatting on the top's hand while he's laying down, etc.
The first time I got fisted I was on my stomach so I thought that is the best position for me. Later on, I learned that it's best when I am on my back. So my advice to you is to try all the positions and choose what's best for your body.
AVOID THE TAILBONE:
I'm appalled that many articles don't mention it in their fisting advice as this is the biggest issue that prevents the hand from going in. The tailbone is located in our buttocks area. Basically, remember this rule: if your knuckles touch the tailbone then you're doing it wrong. You want to make sure the tailbone goes inside your palm so face your knuckles away from the tailbone.
It's very simple. If you're laying on your stomach or on your knees, your tailbone would be facing up, that means your palm has to face up.
If you're laying on your back, the tailbone would be down. That means your palm should be facing down.
The reasons you see in porn videos with the top fisting the bottom in every hand position are because:
1) The warm-up scenes had been edited out
2) The bottom is a pro (aka loose)
3) Porn isn't reality
MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD:
If the body is tensed, his hole won't open. Send a good signal to his brain by kissing his body. Depending on the position that he's laying, if he's facing up, kiss his lips, nipples, chest, stomach, legs, etc. If he's facing down, kiss his back, shoulder, etc.
Take note of this technique, it's very important: Apply slight pressure on his body by putting one arm on him or embrace him. This act will send a signal to his body indicating that it's being protected and it will make his hole very relaxed.
The body contact and the kissing will distract him from concentrating on his hole.
Play with his prostate during the process of fingering. Massage it. Again, make him feel good.
Repeat after me: slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure. Slight rotation, apply pressure.
After your warm-up session, he'll be a bit loose so you can start with two fingers. Apply pressure, rotate, then pull out. When pulling out you need to spread your fingers, this way you'll open up the muscles. Do this until you feel like he's ready and proceed with three fingers. Remember to pull the fingers out, don't just stay there. You need to allow the muscle to contract and expand. Work your way to four fingers and don't forget to always rub against his prostate. Once you're at four fingers your next goal is to keep doing it until your four knuckles are all in. Take your fingers out, don't forget to spread them. Do it again and again until the act of taking four fingers become easier and easier. Surprise him by putting your thumb in. Do not say "Ready? I'm going in". Avoid telling him that because, if you do, his body will put on a defense mode and he will tense up.
At this stage, the rotating movement should be similar to that of nudging. Imagine putting on a tight but fragile sweater. You want to nudge your body into the sweater without damaging it.
For the top: apply pressure while you're rotating and avoid the tailbone.
For the bottom: breathe and relax. I know it'll be difficult to relax but if you tense up it'll make it very difficult. Breathe, relax and push! Push like your baby is about to come out while using your hands and pull your cheeks. It'll help a lot for the hand to go in. Trust me. PULL YOUR ASS CHEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For the top: use your fingertips to "read" his inside. You want your fingers to follow the opening of his rectum. Don't go against it or you'll tear fragile tissues. Once your entire fist is inside, stay there so he can get himself together. Kiss him, compliment him and whisper in his ears how proud you are of him while slightly fisting him. Even when you're already inside, don't forget to use your fist to rub over his prostate. Do not attempt with depth play. This is your first time!
Punch fist is when you're fisting while you hold your hand in the form like you're about to punch someone.
The first time fisting you shouldn't attempt to punch fist coz it can be a bit too much. However, if you really want to do it just make sure you put your thumb inside your palm to avoid your thumb from tearing any tissues.
I love it when the top closes his hand and pulls out. The extra girth makes me orgasms like crazy.
During fisting, there can be blood. If it's just a little then it's fine. If it's too much then you should stop. But everybody reacts differently. I once fisted a bottom and there was so much blood but he went to the bathroom and after that it was fine. Just listen to your body.
After you've done fisting, needless to say, but the top needs to wash his hands thoroughly with soap and the bottom needs to douche his inside to wash out any bacterias that the hand just puts in.
THE BOTTOM HAS THE FINAL SAY:
Communicate with each other when there are pain and discomfort. Listen to the bottom. No means no. This is not the right time for safe-word/rape scene scenarios. Full stop if necessary. Do it again next time. The world won't end tomorrow.
Congratulation, you've learned the art of fisting! Your next step is to perfect it through practice.